Step by Step

Sorry to all of you who have keep asking me about my last week of teaching summer school.  Thank you for asking and caring and wanting to know.  That last week was definitely one of the most draining weeks of the summer. All of my steps from day 1 were leading up to this destination, the end of summer assessment and the last day of school.  Far too much happened, so I will just share the one story that has affected me the most. My kids improved a ton throughout those 4 short weeks, but the three students who were supposed to earn a 70% on their end of summer assessment in order to pass on to the 6th grade all got well below that 70% mark.  It broke my heart to grade Kiera's test.  Kiera is the girl who entered my class absolutely hating math.  She was very quiet.  She would not participate.  She would barely pick up her pencil.  Her mom approached me to warn me that math was her worst subject and that she wouldn't do well.  I took a personal interest in Kiera and her growth in ability and confidence this summer.  I kept searching for those secret moments that I could steal with her before school, at lunch, as she was leaving, whenever I could steal an opportunity to ask her a question or remediate a skill she missed from a previous lesson.  I saw her grow the most out of all my students.  During the last 2 weeks of school, she was earning 100% on most of my daily assessments.  Instead of staring at a problem in fear, I saw her approach equivalent fractions and conversions with confidence, pride, and a big smile on her face.  She had learned and grown so much in such a short time.  Her original score on the pre-assessment was a 23% yet in order to go to 6th grade, she needed a 70%.  Her final score was a 54% which is incredible.  That amount of growth is equivalent to the top 25% of students who attend institutes around the country.  But as good as that is, it's not enough.  She will still have to repeat the 5th grade.  My heart broke that day.  She knows this material better than a lot of her classmates now yet she cannot continue upward.  I am afraid that her new confidence will diminish and that she will go back to that place of fear and hopelessness.  I hope and I pray that the lessons she learned and the moments that we had together will have eternal impacts on her life and that this summer did matter and was worth it.  I need to believe that it was.

The last day of school was wonderful.  I had a college talk with my kids and showed them pictures of some of my favorite college memories.  It was especially wonderful to show them pictures of a couple of my favorite kids from Vietnam as I explained my experience there and how it fueled my passion to become a special education teacher.  The whole day was just very affirming.  Some of my students wrote me notes and gave me pictures.  One girl told me that she wanted to be a teacher now because of me!  I just love and adore them and definitely cried when I had to say goodbye to them.

In addition to saying goodbye to my students, I also had to say goodbye to my Corps Member Advisor (CMA) group.  These are the 10 people that I did life with over these past 5 weeks (kind of like a RA staff).  This was the group that we would debrief with, cry with, vent with, and laugh with.  I had a really great group with a fabulous leader whom spent many many hours giving us meticulous feedback on our lesson plans and observing us teach and trying to comfort me as I broke down crying on a daily basis.  I am very thankful for this group, even if they were for just a short season.

                                            CMA group at Hey Joe's (the popular hangout!)

So now institute is over.  We had 2 days of orientation that was supposed to serve as the bridge between institute and our fall placements.  This was the first time that I received any "training" for special education.  There are a total of 5 of us special educators in the delta (out of 290), and we have an amazing learning team leader who taught special education the year before.  These 2 days were definitely overwhelming, but it also allowed me to be really excited about this specific type of work that I am going into.  I don't feel qualified and I am definitely not prepared or deserving of this job.  But this is the job that I was chosen for.  This is my work and I will faithfully respond to its call, step by step.

During institute, we took a lot of really steep steps at a very fast pace.  Now that the structure of the staircase is over, we are still expected to walk.  We will only get to our destination as we go forward step by step.  Sometimes or path is very clearly defined and sometimes we are only given a general direction.  I am slowly learning more and more about what my specif path will look like.  Each step that I take brings me closer and closer to this real adult life I am living as a teacher in Mississippi.  One of the biggest steps so far is that I found a house!

      This is my cutie little house with my 2 incredible roommates, Sarah and Rachel.  I am beyond excited to live with these 2 girls and to make this house into a home!

We will be renting this house for the year, but it is not ready to live in yet, so I have been adventuring and couch surfing!  For the first few nights, I got to hang out with 3 of my favorite women from institute in Jackson where we stayed in a hotel, went shopping, got pampered, and went out to dinner.  It was such a treat after our very long 6 weeks!

                                                        Rachel, me, Becca, and Janie!!!

 I dropped these three beauties off at the airport on wed morning and have been acclimating myself to the Hazlehurst/Jackson world with my other favorite friend from institute, Laura, and 2 of my new neighbors, Dave and Noah.  I was worried about having to stay down here while everyone else went home.  I thought that I would be lonely and miserable, but we've been having so much fun.  I think I'm really going to love life here.  Life outside of school will consist of picnics by Lake Hazlehurst, playing on the swings, making dinner together, having slumber parties, and exploring the great city of Jackson. 

                                                Laura and I at beautiful Lake Hazlehurst

                                      yes, we are teachers and we sometimes act like the kids!

                                                      just enough cooks in the kitchen :)
 I am getting closer and closer to becoming a teacher.  With each step I take, my path is being formed.  I keep hoping that there will come a time when there will be some consistency in my steps.  Lately, every time I take a step, I'm in shock.  Did I really just put a deposit down to rent a house?  Did I really just buy my own refrigerator? How am I supposed to introduce myself as Miss Hood when I barely feel old enough to be the Sunday School Miss Emily?  These steps are a bit crazy, but I think I'm really starting to enjoy the dance!

hoping to get work done tomorrow,
Miss Hood